Rough Week

It all went BOOM today. Been stirring since about Tuesday, after the tour, in which I found out I'm not eligible to apply to university until at least 2011. And if I do apply and get in, it's going to take me an extra year or two to complete the course. Joy. Don't have that kinda time, or the cash. Sooo here's hoping I didn't completely shoot down my chances for getting back into the local college.

That may sound good - but it's not. Not really. Mainly because I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I can't imagine doing any one career/job for my whole life.

I thought I was getting better, but the hacking cough is still hanging around, as is the runny nose, and the sore throat has returned, and it seems to be toying with the idea of going after my ear too. Fuuuuck. I don't think bawling my eyes out is helping either, but who knows.

Fuck, at the rate I've been going this week, I fucked up pretty much every aspect of my life. I have no life really. I'm alive, but that's not a life. Thought I was managing to work through shit, but nope. Still there, rearing it's ugly head and causing everything to go BOOM, and crumble and collapse.

Everything I touch turns to shit.

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Hat Knitting Update

In the 11 (now 12, technically) days I've been knitting to make hats for my mom's ladies luncheon, I have 10 teen/adult hats, 3 child's hats, we scrounged up a scarf I knitted a while back. This brings the day count to 11 and the hat/scarves to 14. We also found an infant/young child sized pair of mitts we'd bought that don't fit my neices, so the total items to go so far is 15.

Let's see how this turns to shit now...

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Amendment: Okay, so, right now, even my pillow is betraying me or telling me to cheer up - I bawled my eyes out and the tear stains made a smiley face. A.J. is inhabiting my pillow... EEK! lol.

Hopefully, I am done crying. I'm hoping I am - this is wreaking havoc on my throat *sigh* I'm kind of letting myself cry if I want to though - getting it out of my system and then hopefully think rationally soon. I need some better form of catharsis/or outlet in general. I cry and everyone calls me emo. Yeah, that's right, I make a comment ebout my crying kind of being like bleeding out the poison, and I get called emo. I'm never using a metaphor or a simile again! (which will be horribly boring, and won't last long, but oh well!) Besides, if I was emo, it wouldn't be bleeding out the poison, it'd be CRYING BIG TEARS OF BLOOD AND THAT IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!! And there'd be lots of messy eyeliner and cutting! (And yes, I'm aware I made wishing for death comments at one point today, but we all know if I wanted to kill myself I wouldn't sit around talking about it!) And yes Darien, I know this doesn't help my not being emo argument. But I'm not trying to blame any of this on anyone. It happens. It kind of feels like being bucked off a horse and trampled on at the moment, but it happens. Therefore, I am not emo!

And this wasn't meant to turn into a rant about emo-ness... but it does make me seem horribly bi-polar... but anyways. Here's hoping that I'm done and moving on at any rate... And I really need to stop randomly attacking Trystn during these fits. It's not nice, and he doesn't like it... and it really doesn't make me happy either. Sorry Trystn. Of course I apologize to him on the blog...which he never reads... brillliant... Anyways, I'm going to bed now.

Hats, Lots of Hats

So my goal for the end of November and beginning part of December is to knit as many hats as I can. One a day, hopefully.

My mother is part of their church's ladies group. And Every Christmas they get together and have lunch. They used to do a Secret Santa type thing where everyone brought in a small gift and the numbers were matched up, or some such. Then they decided to change that and now they bring in bags of hats, mittens/gloves, scarves etc and they donate them to the Men's Mission, or another charity similar to it.

My dad, having seen all of my knitting for Christmas/Yule presents, and also being forced into being a pattern dummy for sizing for the things I changed from a ladies pattern to a mens and wanted to ensure a fit, suggested that since I was knitting them for something to do (Wrong, I was knitting for Christmas gifts!) that I knit up a bunch for my mom to take to the luncheon for her contribution to the charities.

Well, today I asked mom if she wanted me to do that and she said sure. No wonder why, she then handed me a massive bag of yarn and said "Knock yourself out." We're talking something size of a garbage here folks. Some of it I wouldn't knit hats for guys out of (like the super fuzzy bright purple stuff), but most of it will work well. So, the goal now is to knit one hat a day basically. Each one takes me a few hours.

The pattern I use is this one here, just a very simple ribbed hat.
http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/hatnmitts.html

And another plus side to this - it gets the yarn out of the house for us since we probably wouldn't use most of it (yay impulse buys...) and it goes to a good cause :-)

I think I have about a month until the Christmas luncheon... so I should be able to get 20-30 hats done. I think I shall set a numerical goal at 25. A bit less than a month, but since I don't know exactly when the luncheon is, that works, and it gives me a couple days grace to rest my hands/wrists, or for the days when I just don't have time/energy/health or whatever to knit.

So, total count so far - 1 of 25