Monday, December 21, 2009

Anti-Social Occultist - An... Explaination?

So here goes I guess. A semi occult post. I'm not going to get horribly specific in this blog about a lot of occult things, you want that, head on over to Trystn's Occult Journal. Now why is that? Because, well, for the majority of it, I just don't really think it needs to be talked about with those outside my working group (and even most of them will tell you they understand very little of what we do, 'cause I don't tell them either, really... oops...) It's really a need to know basis, as I don't enjoy having to spend an hour recaping a dozen or so stories to bring someone else up to speed just to have a 5 minute discussion on "This is why this is in this thing you have to say."

And why is this? Because, well, I'm not a teacher of the occult. Not really. Not in the way people would think. I am nowhere near ready in my own personal studies to be a teacher of that sort. I'm not an Elder (OBVIOUSLY.) My working group's members are typically not students of the occult, or if they are, it's not in the same Stream, or even in the same desires. We aren't *technically* a coven/cuveen, and that's fine at this point. I'll be honest, I do select who in my group I tell about rituals that are being planned so as to keep it to those I know I can handle it. And also, since I said we're not technically a coven/cuveen, we're also not "open for new membership" nor are we running a "playtime for the widdle fwuffie dumbdumbs" that seem to stumble across us or get introduced to us (trust me. We had one of those once. It didn't even make it past seeing the ritual in advance when the fwuffie dumbdumb had a meltdown and freaked.)

So basically, when I say I am not a teacher, and we're not really a study group, you wanna learn, you find yourself a good teacher. A good teacher typically will not be very fond of doing distance learning, they will not charge you "tuition" fees, and they shouldn't do other nasty things, like... I dunno... tell you that you MUST have sexual relations with them in order to be part of the group. It's also not a good idea to go for the groups where you pay 50 bagillion million dollars and you get to be a first level red breasted boobie-tit Elder with higher rank than anyone in any other working group (except your own, of course. You wanna be higher ranking there, you're gonna have to pay even more money to be a blue footed ankle biter Elder of a 1.5th level!) You will also be expected to work - you wanna learn, you're gonna work. You're also going to HAVE to expand your boundaries and be prepared for strange new shit to happen. Or strange shit that happened before, to happen again, but more intense. And probably more frequently.

The other reaons I don't usually talk Craft are because, well, for the majority of people in the world, no one reeeaaally understands the other's Stream. You can get pretty close, and you can learn stuff, but at the same time, you're never gonna know it all without going through it yourself. And really, in this area, the closest person with a Stream like what I'm studying, lives approximately 4000 miles away. And I'm a special case, and that's all you really need to know. But it ties in with that whole not enjoying recaping fifty billion things the person won't actually grasp in a similar fashion without a similar background to be looking at the story. It's also not that easy to make other people notice that they might just actually have to change their mindset a bit to see what you're trying to say, although some people get it, while others don't... that whole "Okay, just suppose for an instant that X actually is Y, and it then connects to Z in such a way you get a whole new letter called ZZX!" thing

The issue also includes the fwuffie dumbdumbs that like to stick their fingers in their ears and go "LALALALALALALALALA, Caaaaaaan't heeeeaaaarrrr yooooou! LALALALA! OMG! Opwesshun! Opwesshun! You're trying to force that your religion is better than mine on meeee! WAAAAAH! But wait! I can't hear you, LALALALALALALALA!!" during what was intended to be an intellegent conversation. Of course, if you can't hear me, how can you know I'm possibly trying to do that...? Oh wait, I'm not, and you're just a moron. Oh, and secondly, there IS a difference between Religion and Faith, and I'm not following a religion! But you are. But then again, you're not listening so this point is moot and all we've really achieved is showing your inner cry baby spoiled brat toddler of an inner child, and I have (not so)strange desires to aim a rocket launcher at your head and say "Hasta la vista, baby" in a bad German accent while I depress the trigger. I also love it when they demand proof for something, and upon being given said proof, they go "I do not want regurgitated opinions! I want my own!" Oh yes. Because links to different books online are toootally opinions. Especially when trying to show "So and so copied the idea from so and so, who wrote it A HUNDRED YEARS BEFORE THAT."

I also just LOVE the people I call "Collectors." You know those people on FB who you've never spoken to in ANY form (ie, they're a friend of a friend on FB, and they were a friend of that person's friend, etc etc etc on and on and on until you find a real life friendship that spawned others, but you've never spoken to this person at all on message boards, or in group discussions online, on friends' statuses or anything) and this person you've never spoken to, friends you. Never says anything to you, but they friend you. And then they proceed to friend all your friends with potential occult ties. It's like we're figurine dolls or something - "Witch Streams of the World - Collect the whole set!" And then the person is on your F-list foooreeever, and never saying anything. But they want you to fan every fucking witchy page, or be involved in every little witchy application. Or the ones who just seem to do it for shameless promotion of their pagan business. It's just kind of like "Hmmm... Really. Have you read my profile? I live halfway around the world from you, I'm a Dressmaking and Design student who has been sewing since I was able to hold a plastic needle without injuring myself, I'm also artsy and crafty... I do everything you do, and in some cases, I do it A LOT better..." I also love the people who come along going "I am/have done _____! Fawn over me and fall at my feet!" It's just like "OMG, SRSLY?!?! I'm in AWE! ...Oh, wait, no... that's just my brain shutting down as it melts from the wafting fwuffie dumbdumb idiocy..."

On the other hand, the reason I don't reeaaaally talk to a lot of the non-fwuffie dumbdumb occultists is because, well, compared to a lot of them, I'm basically a baby in swaddling, as a good friend and mentor once said. I don't mind listening, but I know one sided conversations get very... unencouraging after a while. I will listen, and hopefully learn, but at the same time, when I have no clue what they mean because I haven't read that book, or experienced something, or just had no general clue that even existed, it makes for a very slow, one sided conversation. I also don't really enjoying not being able to hold my own, or feeling like I'm bothering someone, or the constant "Oooh, so and so talked about that, and they said *insert basic regurgitation here*" And sometime regurgitation isn't bad, but when it always seems to be regurgitation because I have no freaking clue, it makes me feel dumb, and that I'm coming across as dumb. And that is not really what I want. That is not a good learning environment. I try to not mindlessly regurgitate, I try to have my own thoughts and opinions on it, but I hate the fact it's possibly coming across as complete mindless regurgitation.

Aaanyways, I think this is a long enough rant/explaination as to why I don't really enjoy talking about the occult/why I don't do a lot of it. But I also really don't have a clue what to post really... Any topic suggestions...? I may also bug my mentor and be like "Haaaalp.... is bored, want to write, give me essay topic...!" (Yes, it's true. After high school I am soo totally stuck on writing essays and only essays... blargh. One day I will get my creative back! lol)

SO! Happy Yule, and GET OFF MY LAWN! (Or comment, I like those... usually.)

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Ahhh Relief...

So Tuesday was my mom's luncheon, and in total I had 12 adult sized hats knitted, 3 kids sized ones, a scarf I knitted a while back, and a pair of tiny child sized store bought mitts. Apparently one of the ladies asked if I needed more yarn - my mother politely declined lol. Hopefully this has inspired some of the ladies to try a bit harder/do a bit more - Mom says some of them show up with 2 pairs of mitts from the dollar store and think they've saved the world (and it's not like spending more than $2 would hurt them, if you know what I mean...) I'm thinking that when I get bored I'll just knit some more of these hats and stockpile them for next year.... I may very well need more yarn after all lol.

The storm from last week seems to have cleared a bit. But that is good. I freaked, I know I did, and it didn't end well on a few fronts, but those have been understood and repaired (I hope...) And after the storm, the answer seems rather obvious. I've missed horses a lot. In the past week or two I have watched like every single horse movie on Youtube (which is A LOT.)

Tomorrow/later today I'm hoping mom will be well enough to go shopping and to the post office (the pizza we had for supper isn't agreeing with her, nor is it agreeing with dad. Must have been the meat - I'm not feeling too bad, and I had a veggie pizza tonight, so it must have been the meat.) I have 6 packages to mail off. Yay Christmas/Yule!

And since I'm going to the post office, that means my quilt is DONE!! YAAAY! It has some boo-boos, but I don't care. It adds character. Not that it doesn't h
ave that already. It's also fiesty and fights back when boxed...as evidenced by the sheer amount of tape holding the box closed lol. And now photos to finish! (Remember to click for bigger images, photobucket wasn't cooperating so I actually had to upload these ones to Blogspot)

Quilt front, features water, land, sky, and a Tree of Life/World Tree with oghams. The sky is quilted with 4 pointed star designs, and the water is quilted with swirls and bubbles. The green edges just have a straight line border design.


Quilt back. The designs don't really show up on the backing in this photo.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Rough Week

It all went BOOM today. Been stirring since about Tuesday, after the tour, in which I found out I'm not eligible to apply to university until at least 2011. And if I do apply and get in, it's going to take me an extra year or two to complete the course. Joy. Don't have that kinda time, or the cash. Sooo here's hoping I didn't completely shoot down my chances for getting back into the local college.

That may sound good - but it's not. Not really. Mainly because I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I can't imagine doing any one career/job for my whole life.

I thought I was getting better, but the hacking cough is still hanging around, as is the runny nose, and the sore throat has returned, and it seems to be toying with the idea of going after my ear too. Fuuuuck. I don't think bawling my eyes out is helping either, but who knows.

Fuck, at the rate I've been going this week, I fucked up pretty much every aspect of my life. I have no life really. I'm alive, but that's not a life. Thought I was managing to work through shit, but nope. Still there, rearing it's ugly head and causing everything to go BOOM, and crumble and collapse.

Everything I touch turns to shit.

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Hat Knitting Update

In the 11 (now 12, technically) days I've been knitting to make hats for my mom's ladies luncheon, I have 10 teen/adult hats, 3 child's hats, we scrounged up a scarf I knitted a while back. This brings the day count to 11 and the hat/scarves to 14. We also found an infant/young child sized pair of mitts we'd bought that don't fit my neices, so the total items to go so far is 15.

Let's see how this turns to shit now...

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Amendment: Okay, so, right now, even my pillow is betraying me or telling me to cheer up - I bawled my eyes out and the tear stains made a smiley face. A.J. is inhabiting my pillow... EEK! lol.

Hopefully, I am done crying. I'm hoping I am - this is wreaking havoc on my throat *sigh* I'm kind of letting myself cry if I want to though - getting it out of my system and then hopefully think rationally soon. I need some better form of catharsis/or outlet in general. I cry and everyone calls me emo. Yeah, that's right, I make a comment ebout my crying kind of being like bleeding out the poison, and I get called emo. I'm never using a metaphor or a simile again! (which will be horribly boring, and won't last long, but oh well!) Besides, if I was emo, it wouldn't be bleeding out the poison, it'd be CRYING BIG TEARS OF BLOOD AND THAT IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!! And there'd be lots of messy eyeliner and cutting! (And yes, I'm aware I made wishing for death comments at one point today, but we all know if I wanted to kill myself I wouldn't sit around talking about it!) And yes Darien, I know this doesn't help my not being emo argument. But I'm not trying to blame any of this on anyone. It happens. It kind of feels like being bucked off a horse and trampled on at the moment, but it happens. Therefore, I am not emo!

And this wasn't meant to turn into a rant about emo-ness... but it does make me seem horribly bi-polar... but anyways. Here's hoping that I'm done and moving on at any rate... And I really need to stop randomly attacking Trystn during these fits. It's not nice, and he doesn't like it... and it really doesn't make me happy either. Sorry Trystn. Of course I apologize to him on the blog...which he never reads... brillliant... Anyways, I'm going to bed now.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Anecdote

Once upon a time I wrote a love letter. And then another day I burned it. It had never mattered what I wanted, or what I felt, no matter what he said.
The End.


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Le Voile - Sulamith Wulfing

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Stress Stress Stress and More Stress

It's that time of year again. Or still. Something like that. Although most of my Christmas shopping is done, so it doesn't matter there lol.

My hat goal is changing, as mom's luncheon is about 10-15 days earlier than I expected it to be - it's on Dec. 1st. I'm still going to knit as much as I can, and we've also raided some of my older knitting for scarves and unfinished pieces to be taken apart for yarn because I plenty of those from when I was starting to knit. So far though, since my last post on Wednesday the 18th, I've knitted 5.5 hats (the .5 is the one I'm working on right now) and we've got one scarf (haven't raided the other finished projects, and I knitted a lot of scarves to be given away, or they didn't get finished so we disassembled them.) My yarn collection is shrinking, and in some cases I wonder about actually using the yarn for this project because I don't know how men (since the items are going to a men's mission) would react to the colour of the yarn - i.e. dark purple, or more "girlie" colours. That could just be me being a worrywort, but just because they are in need of the items doesn't mean they will enjoy wearing an item, and I mean, I don't want the icky nasty people-who-are-the-scum-of-the-earth-and-don't-deserve-to-be-called-people to beat someone up because they're wearing some girly hat I knitted because it was all the shelter had and they needed it. I would hope that wouldn't happen, but recently there's been a bit of a jump in hate crimes, and my brain thinks too much and I would hate to be part of the reason someone got beat up or something. But as I said, not that that will happen.

I got a university tour confirmed for Tuesday. Hopefully I get over this cold by then, or else it could suck a lot. I've been rethinking thanatology, but until I get in there and find out who I can talk to (which means most of my questions won't be answered Tuesday, but that's okay because they use student tour guides, and they may at least be able to point me in the right direction) and find out what my career options are afterwards, or if I need to do like... psychology AND thanatology or what.

Of course with my second guessing myself - which happens even more when I'm sick and feeling crappy - comes people's true opinions. Like I really shouldn't go into it because my mood won't improve because my brain hasn't had enough time. To be honest, I've kind of always been like this. Although having 45 people die in 4 years is rather rough, but sometimes that's just how it goes. It takes time to get through, but unfortunately, it doesn't "go away." And when you have a lot of people dropping dead at once, everything kind of gets supressed. The reason I chose thanatology was half as therapy, and half because people come to me for advice and for help. Often times this is related to death. My mom thinks it's a good idea because I am pretty much already doing it. I say I'm doing it because I'm tired of all the whining grieving idiots who get stuck in the "I refuse to let go!" and "I must be a selfish brat for the rest of my life!" stages. And I should know. I was there/am there. I have dealt with family members who are/were there. I think the main reason I don't want to go through with it is because I'm just doubting myself and my own abilities to do it, and there's so little information on it that I can find that I don't know exactly what will be required of me. I don't want to spend $30,000 getting a degree I can't use because I have to do another degree first/after. I can't afford that. Fuck, I can't even afford the $30,000 to get a thanatology degree. I'm going to sell my soul for it pretty much. But I shall wait and see who I can talk to about it etc. I will look into and apply for scholarships...at least that doesn't have to be done within a month or less, that can be done later, once I've applied and been accepted.

Anyways, my sick muddled brain has lost train of thought so I'm going to watch more horsie movies on Youtube and knit while I blow through forest after forest of kleenexes.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Hats, Lots of Hats

So my goal for the end of November and beginning part of December is to knit as many hats as I can. One a day, hopefully.

My mother is part of their church's ladies group. And Every Christmas they get together and have lunch. They used to do a Secret Santa type thing where everyone brought in a small gift and the numbers were matched up, or some such. Then they decided to change that and now they bring in bags of hats, mittens/gloves, scarves etc and they donate them to the Men's Mission, or another charity similar to it.

My dad, having seen all of my knitting for Christmas/Yule presents, and also being forced into being a pattern dummy for sizing for the things I changed from a ladies pattern to a mens and wanted to ensure a fit, suggested that since I was knitting them for something to do (Wrong, I was knitting for Christmas gifts!) that I knit up a bunch for my mom to take to the luncheon for her contribution to the charities.

Well, today I asked mom if she wanted me to do that and she said sure. No wonder why, she then handed me a massive bag of yarn and said "Knock yourself out." We're talking something size of a garbage here folks. Some of it I wouldn't knit hats for guys out of (like the super fuzzy bright purple stuff), but most of it will work well. So, the goal now is to knit one hat a day basically. Each one takes me a few hours.

The pattern I use is this one here, just a very simple ribbed hat.
http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/hatnmitts.html

And another plus side to this - it gets the yarn out of the house for us since we probably wouldn't use most of it (yay impulse buys...) and it goes to a good cause :-)

I think I have about a month until the Christmas luncheon... so I should be able to get 20-30 hats done. I think I shall set a numerical goal at 25. A bit less than a month, but since I don't know exactly when the luncheon is, that works, and it gives me a couple days grace to rest my hands/wrists, or for the days when I just don't have time/energy/health or whatever to knit.

So, total count so far - 1 of 25

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

We Remember

WARNING: Contains touching images. Maybe not ones that will touch you in a nice way like puppies and kittens. But they will be posted, and I cannot hide them behind a cut like on LiveJournal. All the photos below were taken by myself and cannot be reposted anywhere without my written consent. Some of these photos are photos I took of other photos, and in those cases, I will say so, and all rights etc belong to the person who originally took it (but the War Museum allows you to take photos in their exhibits, so I thought I would share for those who won't be going there - which is most of you who read this lol)

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National War Memorial in Ottawa, ON, Canada.

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Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Ottawa, ON, Canada

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Soldiers standing around an inukshuk (
The traditional meaning of the inukshuk is "Someone was here" or "You are on the right path.") Photo taken in the Canadian War Museum in Ottawa, ON, Canada

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Crosses in a WWI cemetary in Europe.... crosses, row on row..... Photo is in a scrapbook in the Canadian War Museum in Ottawa, ON

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Another Canadian cemetary in Europe from WWI. Photo is part of a slideshow/info on a computer at the War Museum in Ottawa. The angle was not the best :-/

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Burial mound on a battlefield in WWI. Photo also part of a slideshow/info on a computer at the War Museum in Ottawa.

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Bodies on the battlefield in WWI. Photo also part of slideshow/info on a computer at the War Museum.

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The famous poem, In Flanders Fields, on the wall of the Memorial Chamber in the Center Block of the Parlaiment Buildings on Parlaiment Hill in Ottawa, ON, Canada.

Do you remember?

Monday, November 9, 2009

Odd/Interesting Dream

Odd/interesting dream last night...

I'm standing in a sand ring, a black horse is free lunging around me in a circle - as if in a round pen (which we weren't.) That I notice, he has no form of tack on - no halter, no bridle, no lunge line, no saddle, no polo wraps, nothing. We're both kind of doing our own thing, moving around in circles with each other. The pace is easy, a nice smooth trot. Suddenly the horse is wearing a halter, and I'm holding a bright yellow plastic tube of some sort with a flag on the end (kind of like one of those "Hey, I'm HERE!!!" flags you see on bikes, ATVS, and what not.) Still no lunge line though.

Now I'm going to state now - I do NOT tolerate/promote animal abuse, but with horses, sometimes a bit of a more forceful action is required to simply say "Hey, I'm here! Look out! Pay attention!" This does NOT mean beating the horse silly with a whip or any object. I also don't tolerate - or at least I don't like to tolerate - people who let horses, etc walk all over them. It can end badly.

As soon as the halter and whip are present the horse stops and turns in towards me. Now some horse people will have horses do this, but they ask for it - shows the horse is paying attention to them and all that. Well, I hadn't asked for it (hadn't asked for the whip either.) I turned to try and get back into the "triangle" set up for the "push" needed in lunging, and shook the whip to ask for him to walk/trot on. The horse turns in again and shows his disinterest and protest to doing as I ask. Shaking the whip again, it folds/buckles as if I'd been shaking a plastic drinking straw, and I toss it down. At this point the horse starts going again, and the halter has disappeared again.

This happens a few times, and there is also some running and arm flailing in attempts to make him change direction etc, but he continues to turn in and stay out of the "triangle" position required.

So that was that... quite a bit to mull over really. I've got a few things noted about it, mainly the regular non-occult related horsie stuff, and a couple occult points. I'm tempted to ask Trystn, but ehhh, he probably wouldn't tell me anything I don't already know hahaha. And tonight, as I was pondering the dream, a voice in my head said, "You were doing so well until that whip came out." And it's true. So the burning question now is what is the whip? Or maybe it's what is the big issue where we always pull out a whip... Hmmm. I also wish I could remember the other part of the dream. It involved people and conversations. I always have trouble remembering those parts lol.


Free lunging a very, very dirty Casper-pony
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Sunday, November 8, 2009

Ottawa Review - Finale

Okay, so the last installment, covering Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. At some point earlier in the week - Monday, I think - my mom called my great aunt and we made arrangements to go visit her for supper. My great aunt also then said she would call my cousin, whom I'd been meaning to call anyways to finalize arrangements to hang out, and would invite her as well.

I suggested getting some flowers to take her, and then I had to go hunting through the phonebook to find florists since we weren't near any grocery stores etc that would have something potted etc. Plans Wednesday morning were also made to meet my dad for lunch during his break. Needless to say the search for the florist ended up with us at the opposite end of Sparks Street because one of the closer ones was not to be found due to renovations in the one building. Of course after running to the end of Sparks Street and then back to the other end to meet dad, it wasn't until we had lunch in hand and were heading back to the hotel to eat it that we discovered a florist in the bunch of shops right by the hotel. But oh well. The one we ended up at was better. A little place on Sparks Street called Mariana's Flowers. Nice lady, nice little shop too - more than just flowers. We got my great aunt some gerbra daisies and another very pale blue delicate accent flower (I want to call it a lithanium or something like that) with some greenery. We also found a scarf to give someone as a christmas present. On the way there we also discovered another little shop that sold crafty stuff from around the globe, but I can't for the life of me remember the name :( Got some christmas/birthday presents there as well.

So running back to meet dad for lunch, we grabbedd subs from Subway, headed back to the hotel room, ate, then dad left again, and mom and I just chilled and relaxed. We figured there was no point in wearing ourselves out before dinner, and we deserved a rest after the 8.5 hour drive to Ottawa, the long walk after, walking all day Monday, and all day Tuesday. I also finished my halloween costume, and then when dad was done work for the day we headed over to my great aunt's.

We arrived to find my great aunt, my cousin that we knew would be there (who is my great aunt's granddaughter), and one of my great aunt's sons and his wife, who are my cousins whom I'd never met. We had a really nice dinner of ham, scalloped potatoes, mixed veggies, buns, and apple pie with ice cream. My great aunt loved the flowers, and she even busted out the GOOD dishes hahaha. After that we all just sat around and talked, and I showed my cousin a video on youtube of a little old lady crossing the road, and a guy in a Mercedes has to stop to let her cross, and she's... well, how about I just link you to it lol. Remember to open it in a new tab/window, I've got more to say! Anyways, everyone loved the video. After a while there we headed back to the hotel and went to bed.

Thursday my mom and I walked to the National Gallery of Canada and met up with my cousin. We were a teeensie bit late since mom kept falling asleep and refusing to get up. It took the me pouncing on her yelling "MOMMY! MOMMY! SANTA CAME!!!" and also yelling "It's after 10, we need to leave! WE NEED TO LEAVE IT'S AFTER TEN!!!" There were quite a few interesting things, but at the same time, a lot of crap. Yes, that's right, I said it - CRAP. Okay, sorry, but I don't think painting a giant canvas solid black is overly artistic. Nor does it make much of a statement. Not even if you paint the sides of the canvas (where you put staples to hold it to the wood) a different colour. Sorry, but no. "New" "contemporary" art actually needs to involve more than a "statement" for me - I won't even read the plaque if it looks that dumb. I don't mind a lot of the abstracts, that's usually what I paint. But a solid black canvas? No. And I have one those sitting beside me, because the black is a base layer. Oh, and they have two of those black squares. When we saw the second one my mom went "Oh look, a black bear in the dark!" Needless to say the other girl in the room kind of looked at us like "OH NO YOU DIIIIDANT!!" and her boyfriend was just like "*snerk**hides smile behind hand*" On the other hand, the good stuff they had was good. A lot of native art, some actual clothing from different times etc etc. It wasn't as cool as the War Museum though lol. They do have a giant spider statue outside named Maman though.

That night dad had a business dinner, so mom and I kidnapped my cousin back to the hotel to hang out, then the three of us went to the Glue Pot Pub for supper, and then back to the hotel for a bit. Then when I was supposed to be walking her out of the hotel so she could go home and do homework, we decided to sit and chat in the hotel's lower lobby, and have ice cream for like 2.5 hours hahaha. Was nice though. Worried mom a bit though, and she sent dad to find me. My cousin went home shortly after that and I went back upstairs to relax in bed and watch TV while editing some stuff for Trystn.

Friday mom and I packed. The hotel didn't have a hotub *gaspshockhorror* so there was no soaking sore muscles before we hit the road for home. That's what we did Friday. Dad had a short meeting in the morning and then we left and drove home. Traffic was pretty good considering we hit the Toronto area around rush hour on a Friday lol. I took like 700 photos hahaha. And that was my trip to Ottawa! Wheeee!

Just a few photos now. You can't take pics in the art gallery of the paintings :( And other than that I didn't take a lot those days that we haven't already seen lol

Maman attacks Notre Dame Cathedral!!
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The exhibits on at the gallery
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The view from Majors Hill Park on the way back to the hotel. I wish we'd known about that route on the way TO to gallery lol
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Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Ottawa, Part 2 - Canadian War Museum

So we've gone over the drive down on Sunday, and walking around Sunday evening in my previous post. Now we shall talk about Tuesday.

On Tuesday my mom and I walked from the hotel to the Canadian War Museum. Now usually I'm not a huge fan of war - I don't support them, nor do I have any real desire to join the military - but there are some aspects I do like to know about (i.e. as a kid I used to read all the young adult fiction about the Jewish families in hiding, the British children coming to Canada etc.) Anyways, this place is awesome. According to my family that lives in Ottawa, the War Museum has little, to nothing in storage. And given how much there is to see, I'd believe that. I also loved this place because I'm camera happy, and they tell you when you go in to take as many photos as you like (though some things have a sign of a flashing camera with a big red circle crossing the camera out - so no FLASH photography of paintings (obviously. The flash destroys the paint.)

Currently the Museum has an exhibit about Camouflage - from battlefield to catwalk. It's very interesting. They show different types of uniforms over the years, and how different countries have different patterns. They also show how some of it is made/how it was made. They also have a video playing where one half of the screen is actual miltary use of camo, and the other half is models wearing camo on the runways. In this exhibit they also had displays about dazzle ships, which I found absolutely awesome (so awesome I want to buy a model ship and dazzle paint it lol.) They have a periscope simulation where you look though the thing, and it shows boats (with dazzle camo) on the water, and you have to determine which way the boats are headed. It's actually rather hard. The exhibit also features things like fake trees, parachuting decoys, and other military decoys. Then they have actual designers clothes from the catwalk - dresses mostly. They also show how camouflage patterns have been used in fashion/non-military use for things like toys, and packaging.

After leaving that exhibit, we returned into the main galleries, and we mistakenly ended up starting with the more recent wars/military involvements, rather than starting back in about the 1600s where they talk about what the people coming to Canada would have had with them, as well as what the natives would have used. So we went back in time instead of starting earlier in time.

They have a lot of weapons on display - stone and wood clubs, knives and swords, guns ranging from pistols to rifles to machine guns, the BIG guns, and assorted vehicles and tanks. I was very excited about tanks. I like tanks. I want to own a tank. It would make parking near the doors of stores sooo much easier... Back on track now... they also have a wide variety of uniforms on display. There is also art work, and a lot of hands on things. There were a few displays where it looked like you could walk through them etc, my mom walked through the trench one, though I wasn't really sure if you were supposed to or not, and felt kind of bad about walking all over a display.

So as I said in my last paragraph, there is a trench you can (apparently) walk through - you see how tall they were, where soldiers slept, etc. They also had a VERY realistic scene from the battlefields of Passchendaele. The walls had realistic murals of the landscape on them, the ground featured boardwalks, fake mud, crater holes filled with water, weapons etc abandoned to the mud (it rained for 3 months straight at Passchendale) and also a dead soldier lost to the mud (since it rained so much and there were crater holes everywhere, the mud and water were deep that people did drown in them.) If you are a person who has been in battles, please evaluate your sanity before going here. It's an awesome place, but if you've done military time and have been known to have episodes/flashbacks/insane moments I'm not really sure what to call, exercise caution. Unlike a lot of museums, the War Museum has noise. They have soundtracks playing in different exhibits - as in gunfire, bombs/artillery fire, and the like. They also have the realistic scenes of the trenches and Passchendaele (not sure if those would cause anything or not, warfare has changed, but maybe not that much), and they also have some very graphic photos of bodies etc. That said, the majority of the museum is awesome and family friendly etc.

There's a lot of movies playing as well. We didn't really watch any... occassionally I, personally, found it hard to follow them, just because they weren't very loud (most likely to not disturb people looking at other things nearby), so I would try to follow the subtitles - which, due to Ottawa being our country's capital, being right beside Quebec, and being bilingual (English and French for official languages), were in French. My French isn't quiiite that good. One of the best movies/visual demonstrations I loved, was the Armageddon simulation... basically, there's a flat screen TV on the wall. Underneath that are three buttons. Each button shows how a different thing stands up to nuclear Armageddon. Needless to say... I think the forest won (or at least unlike the house and transport truck, only one tree out of the forestted area shown wasn't still standing at the end.) Kind of scary, but also kind of like "Coooolll!!!" The house was awesome... you watch a curtain of nuclear whatever go flying past continually and the house just slowly starts to smoke/turn to ash on the outside and then it just flies apart like it's being hit by a tornado.

As I said, they also have a lot of vehicles on display - cars, trucks, armoured vehicles, planes, helicopters, tanks... They have a whole gallery dedicated to tanks, big trucks, cannons, etc called the Le Breton Gallery. There is also a Canadian Air Force fighter of some sort. I picked out a few tanks I would like to won, the winner being a Self-propelled Howlizter

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So before I give it all away, there is A LOT to see and do, and a lot of interesting stuff to be learned. There's some stuff in there you don't even expect to see - slideshows on computers you can look through, another computer that accesses the WWI Canadian soldier Attestation Papers (you can't print them though, but they do say which website you're using, so you can go home and print them off... collectionscanada.com or some such) and yeah, there's just a lot of cool stuff.

It does take most of a day, but it's worth it. There is a restaurant on site called The Mess, it's mainly a cafeteria style of food already prepared that you just grab, which is fine. Both museum admission and food are reasonably priced, and oddly enough, so was the gift shop... lol. Or at least what I was looking at was. I didn't look at the book selection too much, but I would imagine even those were fairly priced for the book.

After seeing the War Museum we walked back to the hotel, stopping by the Garden of the Provinces and Territories - which, being autumn, didn't seem to have a lot of plant life... it was kind of a stone terrace with trees, and it went up the hill from the road to the doors of a church, so yeah... not so sure it has real flowers, or if it's just the painted stone ones on the stone rails around the terrace thing. The fountain was cool though.

Upon arriving back to the hotel we grabbed showers to ease sore feet and legs, and then relaxed until my dad got done work. Then we just went across the road to the Glue Pot Pub and had supper (THEY HAVE YUMMY RIBS!!! [Can you tell I was sick of italian food? lol] And the lasgana is apparently delicious as well, but it's not a main menu item, just a speical offer item. It looked yummy though. Mom had it Thursday night, and dad finished it for her and said it was good too. More about that in the post about Thursday though.) After finishing supper we decided to walk down to the Rideau Center mall and Byward Market. It was a mistake. Mom and I were more tired and sore than expected, and the walk took longer than we thought, or seemed to anyways, and was also very cold. Needless to say, upon arriving at the mall, it was only about an hour to closing, and none of the stores were any we shop in anyways. Byward Market was mostly closed up as well. Mom and I would have rather stayed at the hotel and just relaxed and watched TV I think lol. Which is what we did when we got back.

And now, everyone's favourite part... PICTURES!!! I won't give too much away though :p

The War Museum as viewed from across the road on the way back from the museum...
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One of Hitler's Parade cars, complete with bullet holes
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So the next post will cover Wednesday, Thursday and Friday as not a huuuge amount happened lol

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Ottawa - A Review

Now that I'm home from spending 6 days in Ottawa, I shall do a bit of blogging about it (since I didn't have internet access) and I think to break it into smaller bits, I will do a day or two at a time. So here we go with Sunday and Monday...

Sunday Night
We walked from our hotel to Sparks Street, which has very little traffic - authorized vehicles only, so mainly construction and the odd courier/delivery truck - because it is a mall of sorts. Most things were closed when we got there, which was usual since it was a Sunday and everything closes around 5p.m.. It's also late in the year for many festivals or anything to be happening there. We walked along Sparks Street for a couple blocks, then cut up to Wellington Street and walked by the Parlaiment Buildings because it was more interesting. We walked up and around and saw the statues on the grounds etc, took some photos, then continued over and around to the National War Memorial and then back along Sparks Street to find a place for supper. We had supper at Carmello's, which was yummy, although none of us were really hungry so we split a pizza, then headed back to the hotel to crash for the night.

Monday
Dad had to work, and mom and I decided to ease ourselves into the task of having to walk everywhere. We had breakfast/snack and then headed back over to the Parlaiment Buildings to see about getting tickets for a tour, as the last time we were in Ottawa we couldn't get tickets for a time until later in the day, so we went early so we could then kill time if needed. The tours of the Parlaiment Buildings are free, but most definitely guided, and you do need to go through a security check similar to the one at the airports. We got right in for a tour about 15 minutes after we arrived. It seemed a lot shorter than last time, but Parlaiment was in session, so we weren't allowed into the House of Commons, and a few of the other rooms were in use as well.

The Parlaiment Buildings are actually very nice to look at. They're mostly neo-Gothic style due to a fire or two, the Library is the only original part that didn't burn down, although the interior is newer due to a fire in the library, I think. At the end of the guided tour you can either leave, or go up into the Peace Tower and look out at the city from up there, and then come back down and see the Memorial Chamber as well.

After the indoor tour mom and I walked around the grounds and took daylight shots of the buildings and statues. There is a small fenced area off to the west side of the grounds that has a cat house, which was built in the '70s I believe. It's just a little doghouse-like structure with cut out doors, and straw inside for stray cats to have shelter, and there are also food and water dishes for them as well. The animals also get vetrinary care if needed.

Around the buildings they have statues, etc and you walk behind and see the back of the Parlaiment Buildings, and there are some awesome views of the river, and the city, and looking over to Quebec. After taking pics of the statues etc around there, we headed over to
the National War Memorial to get daylight photos. The War Memorial is very pretty. It also has, at its base, The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Apparently most countries have a tomb/monument now for an Unknown Soldier, meant to honour all those who were lost and unable to be identified. This tomb contains the remains of an unknown soldier who died in WWI, and were brought over from a cemetary near Vimy Ridge. For the most part when we passed it, the area was empty, aside from the odd tourist, or people cutting through the area, or people maintaining it. But that day we were standing there, looking at it, reading the plaques, and taking photos, a woman came up, stopped by the grave, kneeled down, crossed herself, and prayed for probably about five minutes before crossing herself again and leaving. The only reason I can think of as to why this struck me as highly interesting was because I've never seen anyone do this aside from days when someone has actually died, or it's a ceremonial/special day, like Rememberance Day. I also just found the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier to be highly interesting - which to me, along with my "MUST SEE!!" fascination with the War Museum, is rather odd since I have very little connection to military or war... I'm not IN the military, I don't know a lot of people who are, etc. I also love seeing the photos of people who also care, where the grave is covered in Canadian flags, cut flowers, photos, letters, or poppies, like in THIS photo here.

After leaving the War Memorial, mom and I headed back down Sparks Street towards the hotel since dad would be off work soon. We stopped in at the Zellers and picked up some stuff we needed, and then went back to the hotel. That night we at the Bay Street Bistro, which had a menu almost identical to Carmello's (which that night, was NOT what I wanted to see since I find a lot Italian food gives me indigestion/heartburn - I blame the tomato sauce) but they had a very yummy pizza (chicken, cheese, pesto and tomato cubes.) After that I think we just went back to the hotel because mom was tired and it was COLD.

Next post will be about Tuesday! The day we ventured to the Canadian War Museum... and I took photos of EEEEVERYTHING (but I won't post them all. If any. We'll see! It's so hard to choose! I took like 236 photos!)

And now, a photo (or five) for you! EDIT: I shrunk them, because it DID cut them off (on my screen at least.) And I didn't like that. Grrrr. Fucking Blogspot... might have to switch to a different template again since that kind of pisses me off) So please remember to click to enlarge!

The Peace Tower, at twilight
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The Library, at twilight. Minus the weathervane though, I cut it off by accident when taking the pic apparently. Another shot will be posted later.
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The Parlaiment Buildings, center block, during the day
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The front of The National War Memorial at night
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The Tomb of the Unknown Solider, at night
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Tomb of the Unknown Soldier during the day, to show the medieval sword (for courage), the laurel, the maple leaves and helmet on top
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The back of the National War Memorial during the day
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Saturday, October 24, 2009

Bit of a rant

Okay, so this is something that pretty much just grinds my gears. It's been doing it for a while now, really. Something I probably really shouldn't care about, but I do. So here goes.

Tights are NOT pants. First we had that whole "I must wear jeans under a skirt/dress!" and then we went into "I must wear tights with every outfit!" and now we have "Tights can be worn as pants!"

Sorry, but no. I am not the only one to feel this way, either! Look here, at the blog I found when I was looking for examples of tights being worn as pants.

The only times I would EVER say it is okay to wear tights "as pants" would be if you are a dancer/gymnist and are wearing them as a body suit for dancing or dance rehersal - this applies to a few other sports as well, like skating etc, but again, that really only applies to the men, as most female skaters would have the skirty thing going on. It is also only okay to wear them "as pants" if you are wearing a very long top - so long that it's like a dress.

Why should people not wear tights as pants? Well, most people really don't want to see everyone else's undies. Also, a lot of people really don't look that good in tights. The 80's need to die and stay dead. Also... CAMEL TOE IS NASTY. Just... uuugh. NO. Okay? NO.

I saw a girl at the mall handing out resumes - I'm guessing she was hoping her looks would get her a job (she was cute, and had a nice butt), however... tights as pants is nooot overly professional. I possibly would have hired her, but I would have asked if she had pants or skirts to wear. Another time, I was in the fabric store and this girl came in wearing tights and I actually cringed and had to bite my tongue to keep from saying "Oh, you came here to buy fabric to make pants! Seeing as how someone appears to have stolen yours and left you with only you tights! Which are *not* pants, and all..."

So really the only thing to say here is - TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS. DO NOT WEAR TIGHTS AS PANTS. Or flying monkies will kill you.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I think too much...

And in the end, this will most likely be my downfall. Again.

If I pursue the education path and career field/path I am looking at, I'll probably kill myself within 5 years after finishing school (Hey, I always said I'd be dead by 30...) Why am I even looking into this then? Well, it's cheaper than therapy. Or costs the same. And in the end is more productive. Because, well, I'd be able to get a job. And all that jazz. If you're wondering what this is, it's called Thanatology. As of yet, not entirely sure where all this would take my career options, but mainly I was thinking grief counselling.


Having attended MANY funerals and dealing with A LOT of grieving relatives, so long as I have a good outlet (that isn't another human being, unless I take up boxing, or any animals/activities involving animals that could have any potential to become abusive. Not that I would EVER abuse an animal!) it should pretty much be a cake walk. On the other hand, it could kill me. I mean, c'mon... listening to people bitch and whine and blame, and cry and scream, and ask "Why?".... What could be better?

I mean, I've spent my whole life so far being the whipping boy, being rubbed raw, being everyone else's solid rock (although really, what good is a solid rock that has
very little to hold it up?) Why change now? Although at this point, and after school I would consider myself a bit better equipped. I am a sponge, and I seem to be pretty damn good at it. I get everybody's/a lot of my friend's issues, which is okay, because they get them out and I can help them/offer advice if they need it. And I can do that, usually.

I already know it will be a struggle while I'm in school. I've no fucking clue how I'll be able to hold down a job during school. I mean, I kind of had to quit my last one due to anxiety and social issues. How the hell am I going to hold down one while studying a course that is going to do nothing but dredge up the guck I've shoved down, and rub salt in the wounds?
Oh, and let's not forget the fact everything I have seen that is hiring and not an hour's drive away, is hiring the midnight shift (11pm-7am) and that is not overly condusive to going to school. Oh yes, I am fucked. Royally.

And as for after... well... I wonder how many grief counsellors cry on the job...

(Oh, and this isn't even the icing on the cake. This is one of the sugar roses along the side.)

(Bonus points to anyone who can tell me how the above photo connects to this entry...)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Turkey Day

I have started about 4 posts for this blog offline, all on different subjects, all stuck somewhere between the beginning and the middle. So while I continue to work on those, I thought I would post SOMETHING...

My birthday was a couple days before Canadian Thanksgiving, and for my party, my friends and I gathered and had a potluck Thanksgiving feast (not very occult/witchy of me, but oh well. The food was great!) We had potatoes, salad, veggies with dip, fresh bread, stuffing, cake
, and the thing I slaved over - the turkey!

I did a recipe I saw on a show called License To Grill - a brined and smoked tur
key done on the BBQ!! It turned out well, despite not being brined enough, and my turkey being small enough that I couldn't get all the ingredients for inside the body cavity in there lol.

It's not a very hard recipe, but it DOES take quite an amount of prep work (but it's worth it!) I think the total cooking time was abooout 3.5 to 4 hours. At the 3.5 hour mark the breast was cooked to the suggest temperature, but the legs still had some pink and blood near the bone, which resulted in the turkey being shoved into the oven by my mother to finish it off for leftovers (I reccomend continuing to cook on the BBQ if this happens - A LOT of juices came out when she put it in the
oven...)

So now, for some pictures! Beware, contains one photo of a raw turkey lolThe turkey, post marinating for 16-18 hours in the brine, and covered in the rub, before going on the grill

After the first hour on the grill - we were late getting it on, so the first hour was done on a higher heat. Here you can see the foil smoke pouch to the left, and the drip pan with the white wine under the turkey pan.

Hour 3, basting the turkey with the basting butter for the second time (I split the batch in half, basted once after the first hour, second hour used what was in the pan, third hour the rest of the basting butter)

And the finished product. Now please note, this turkey does NOT have bread stuffing inside. It has apples, orange, onion. Also supposed to have garlic, thyme and maybe a lemon lol. I forgot those last two or three... oopsies!

Was a very yummy bird, and not horribly complex to do either. It seems like a lot - the shopping list almost gave my mom a heart attack - but it's worth it!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Quilt Update

It appears as though I will be abandoning one of my quilt projects. The colours don't go together as well as I would like, and I can't make the points line up correctly *glower* I think it's the purple that makes the colours not go as well... perhaps the blue and the gold as well. But whatever. I'll drop the purple, blue and gold, and do black, white, red and grey. Or something. I'm not finding a lot of options that don't involve tons of different patterned ones. Ugh. I hate this. Luckily my mother is understanding that sometimes shit just doesn't look right and you need to change stuff. I just wish this had been noticed BEFORE I got all the diamonds and shit cut out for the damn thing. Thank gods I hadn't done the squares and triangles or the sashings yet.

I'm thinking of doing a twisted sister quilt. Kind of like this one... I really like the red centers and the red sashings.

Also, I found this thing called "The Ugly Quilt Contest" - I am amused. I would TOTALLY buy the Kitty In The Blender quilt. I think it's awesome LOL.

My other lapquilt project (that fits a single bed...*ahem*) is coming along well. Almost done quilting the inside, then I can work on quilting the edges and finishing it. Woot.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Book List

Recently I have found myself reverting back to a lot of things I did as a preteen/young teen. I am reading a lot more, and watching a lot more TV. Mind you, recently that could be because I've had A LOT of time to myself.

It's kind of nice, but at the same time I find myself having A LOT of problems getting into "grown up" books. I have bad luck picking them. I also have a lot of issues getting into a lot of books, and while the book may be open in front of me, chances are I'm not in the author's world, I'm in my own. I think adult fiction is one I have issues with. A lot of those ones seem to be all about mid-life crisis and what not (thinly veiled non-fiction, I'm sure.) Noooot quite there yet. I'm just stuck in young adult crisis. And that was after moving out of teenage crisis, and childhood crisis. I don't think there is a stage of life without crisis, to be honest. Except perhaps infancy... but I'm sure if you asked a screaming pterodactyl - I mean infant - what crisis they faced they would tell you they were hungry/needed to be burped/needed to be changed/needed cuddles etc.

I think that was also one reason why I read A LOT of romance novels - it's hard to pick an awful plot there. Although the ones without sex really suck. And not in a good way... Anyways, in my movie watching, a lot have involved books, and for some reason I almost want to read these books.

So the book list (as of now, and no where near complete) is as follows (perhaps even with a movie listed from where I heard of it.) Titles in red are higher on the list (mainly because I know what they're about lol)

The Divine Comedy (The Bucket List)
The Lady And The Little Dog (The Reader)
The Oddyssey (The Reader)
The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible
Shakespeare's plays (high school reading inspired this, Slings&Arrows reinforced it and showed me more)
Women Who Run With The Wolves
Satanic Verses (just checked the library website, I can borrow this one! YAY!)

There are lots of others I want to read, lots I want to reread, some I want to watch as live plays or see as movies. Some I'm sure I will like, and others I probably won't make it past the first chapter with any ease.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

She Flies Without Wings

So I found a book at the library today. It's an adult non-fiction titled "She Flies Without Wings: How Horses Touch A Woman's Soul" by Mary D. Midkiff.

Looks and sounds promising. I haven't read a lot yet, but already I am finding things I can relate to, and lots to enjoy. It might do the trick of cheering me up a bit after all.

"A horse's acceptance remains one of my earliest memories of belonging. While I struggled to find who I was and would be as a person, horses gave me my first intimation of what acc
eptance and belonging could feel like."

Hunter Sit - Lore & Berta

Monday, September 14, 2009

Books

The knitting book I borrowed from the library is due back soon, so I'm going tomorrow to return it. I might take out another book if I can find one that looks promising.

There was a quilting book I was going to check out, more for my mom than myself, but today hasn't been a very good day for anything really. Been feeling rather numb, and if not numb, then upset and sick. I tried to work on quilting and knitting, but neither one has really grabbed my interesting beyond a few stitches or rows. Some shit has happened in the past couple days, and really, all I'm noticing is that I'm not good enough, or I didn't make good enough decisions in the past for where I am now. Really it just comes back to not feeling good enough. And well, really, that is the story of my life.

I don't know what kind of book to check out of the library - and the online catalogue is (once again) unavailable. Tempted to read some books from movies I've watched recently, also tempted to read some Shakespeare. But really, I don't know what any of them are actually about. And I don't know what kind of thing I want to read. Happy? Sad? Comedy? Self help? I think a crafty type book will have to wait since I couldn't get into it today. Maybe I won't take out any new books yet.

I'm kind of leaning towards Shakespeare. I do want to read more of that. I was hoping to go to the Stratford Theatre for my birthday, but that isn't going to happen by the looks of things. I'm starting to think I'll just spend that day in bed and avoid the world. Or maybe watch the entirety of Slings & Arrows. Again. For the umpteenth time. Maybe I'll borrow The Odyssey by Homer. Not that I know what it's about, but they read some of it in that movie, The Reader (good movie, I recommend it.)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Toddlers & Tiaras - Ramblings

Today I watched a TV series called "Toddlers & Tiaras" on TLC. It was kind of like watching a train wreck. Horrifying, but at the same time, fascinating. The show is about children (mostly ages 12 and under) that compete in children's beauty pageants. I would love to say we don't have these things in Canada, but I'm fairly certain we probably do (the show is based in the U.S..)

Most of the kids seemed to be enjoying themselves, some, not so much, and others, well... not at all. For me, it's just strange - and slightly uncomprehensible - to see kids wearing more make up than most badly/overly made up women I know; being spray tanned (or in one case having it rolled on with something akin to a paint roller); wearing fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake hair, and then parading around in elaborate, garish outfits that cost more than a lot of things I wish I owned - as my one friend said when she heard what one mother commented about outfits costing "That's a lot of rent..." (We're talking this mother has invested between 65-70 THOUSAND dollars in going to pageants. Oh, and her daughter was about 5 years old.) I can understand the make up and the hairspray - my neices go through those for skating. I've done the "You've got so much hairspray/product in your hair, stay away from open flames" myself for a couple formal events (remember, the trick is that if your hair still feels like hair, you don't have enough hairspray.)

The younger kids really didn't seem to understand what was going on, they just did it, and probably had fun (though there were a lot of sad faces when they didn't get prizes.) The older kids did get it, and some were INSANE about it. The one 10 year old even had (what appeared to be a rather bitchy) alter ego named Tootie. I kid you not - they called the child by her real name, and she snapped back "I'm not *name*!! I'M TOOTIE!!!" And her bad mood lasted until she stepped on stage, and then came back as soon as she was off stage. A few of these kids seem to have "I'm better than you" attitudes. Already. Like little Miss Tootie. She constantly had this look like someone around her was smelly - the disgust, the sneer, all of it. She also didn't seem to give a damn about anything. What she won was not good enough.

A lot of the mothers were also pageant contestants when they were younger. They were more excited than the kids when they won *grimace* Seriously, your child is standing on stage with this "I have no idea what's going on, but I'll stand here and smile" look on their face, and you're standing in the audience squealing, jumping up and down for joy, waving your arms, hollering, yelling, and hugging your friends/family... meanwhile your child's expression has now become "My mother is acting insane, and I'm not sure why, or what I should be doing, but okay..."

One family had all 5 of their daughters competing. I WILL SAY THIS NOW - I'm not going to say this woman is a bad mother, or anything like that. I do not know these people, I am aware this whole thing has been edited by other people than her (or at least I would assume it has been), and all that. What I am about to say is my own observations and opinions formed by what I saw.

Anyways, continuing, this family has 5 daughters competing, two of whom are twins. Now in the beginning, it seems as though the mother is showing favouritism (and it does kind of seem that way, but at the same time, she could be just being very truthful/realistic, as one twin won more pageants than the other twin.) I will call the twin that wins more Twin #1 and the other twin Twin #2. I will say how things originally came across, and then my later thoughts on them. So, first off, Twin #2 doesn't really seem to enjoy pageants. Twin #2 also looks emotionally injured when talking about pageants. She knows her sister wins more than she does etc. She said so herself, and when speaking about pageants, looked unhappy, looked down from everyone else, or away from everyone else. Originally I was rather shocked at how the mother came across when the dress Twin #2 chose had a rip in it. It appeared a ruffle had come off a layer of the skirt, and would actually be a fairly easy fix. The mother however goes "It's RIPPED. You ripped it at the last pageant!! Do you remember how you ripped it?! You lose points for things like this!!" The child started to cry, asking if it could be fixed, or if they could get a new one. The mother replied she'd fix it if she had time, and that while there was a new dress coming, it would probably only fit Twin #1. Now this originally came off as rather cold - however, thinking on it more, 5 girls to get ready for the pageant would be a lot of work, and if the twins differed in size from when the dress was ordered, it would make sense that it would only really fit one of them. Other than this, for the most part, the mother seemed to be a very good parent. The father eventually had to make the desicion to remove Twin #1 from the pageant because of her horrible behaviour, and the mother respected this and did not fight him on it at all. The thing that stunned me most was Twin #1's behaviour at/after the pageant. Twin #1 ended up being removed before the final portion before crowning - due to her behaviour (we're talking kicking, screaming, crying, ignoring parental directions, insulting her sisters etc.) Twin #2 ended up being crowned 3rd Alternate, and Director's Choice. Twin #1 - while not participating in the talent portion, and being removed - was awarded 2nd Alternate. Both twins were then being interviewed by the camera crew, and when Twin #2 was asked what she won, Twin #1 butted in with "YOU didn't win. I did! I got 2nd Alternate!Twin #2 replied with "How would you know?! You weren't there! You were asleep!" Twin #1 continued with "I won. Ask mommy!" Twin #2 then
simply sat there, staring down and away from everyone, looking at the floor, no expression on her face. Twin #1 then put her arm around her sister in a comforting/patronizing gesture, only to be shoved off by Twin #2. WAY TO GO #2!! One child has an ego issue, and the other has emotional damage issues. I hope Twin #1 smartens the fuck up, and Twin #2 grows up to be strong, and not hating and distrusting people.

Before and After photos can be seen here, (Tootie is #4) along with other stuff on the site (like lists of what they take to pageants, etc etc.) Some of them still look like children when they're all made up. Others look like Barbie dolls.

Oh, and the cost of the one girl's dresses from above? Least expensive was either $1200 or $2100. Most expensive was $3600. I think I need to be making poufy, frou frou pageant dresses that look like glitter vomit.

Now then, not sure why I'm rambling on this much... probably because this whole thing kind of disturbs me (in about the same sense as purity balls...)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A Foodie Post For The Most Part

So today there's a few things to talk about! Some sewing, a movie and some food. The last two are related in a way - Although I was going to be making these things anyways without watching the movie. So I'll leave the food until the end, so it's all tied together.

We checked out the new Fabricland location, it's pretty nice. There's more room than the others, although it feels too new lol. I picked out some cotton to make myself a tiered peasant skirt - it's a dark red with little dark yellow/gold stars on it. Mom helped me pin on the pattern pieces to make it go faster
etc, and we got it cut out, so I can start sewing that soon. And hopefully get it done before I take anymore beach trips (which may or may not be until next year, we shall see.) So that's about that for now. Still plugging away at the quilts, but it was really hot and then really cold and wet (yay hurricanes!) so not much has been done recently.

Now then, ONTO THE FOOD!
Today my mom and I went to the movie theatre and saw Julie & Julia. This is kind of a dual movie because part of it is the story of Julia Child, the cook, and Julie Powell, a woman who decides to blog as she cooks her way through Julia Child's cookbook. The movie is based on two TRUE stories, as there actually is a woman named Julie Powell who cooked her way through the cookbook and blogged about it, she also wrote a memoir about it and that is essentially what the movie is based off, as well as Julia Child's memoirs. I recommend this movie to everyone. It's well written, amusing, shows LOTS of yummy food. Just avoid bookstores on the way home in case you want to try cooking through the book as well hahaha. My favourite line from the movie that really sticks out was when Julia Child is taking a hot cannoli out of a pot of boi
ling water with her bare hands and she says, "These damn things are hotter than a stiff cock!" I think we all almost died from laughter when that one came out. This is Julie Powell's blog where she did the challenge HERE.

In other news, my friend Ezri is hosting an afternoon tea tomorrow and it's pot luck. I was originally going to take turkey and Swiss cheese sandwiches, but then the date got moved and now I'm rather lazy feeling and I ended up making something "simpler" that takes more effort lol. I'm making Cherry and Pecan Cream Cheese Spread and Herbed Cheese Balls (or something similar) that I found on this website HERE.


The Cherry and Pecan Cream Cheese spread looks kinda gross... but it's yummy. It starts off looking like an herb cream cheese dip/spread before the cherries are added, and ends up looking.... a bit daunting... (read: when hacking away at the revived/stewed cherries it looked A LOT like liver... ick. And then before a REALLY good mixing, it kind of resembled stomach contents. MMMMMM STOMACH CONTENTS.) Taste-wise - YUM-De-FUCKING-MY. A bit tart, as it uses sour cherries, but very refreshing as well. I think you could use fresh cherries/non-sour instead of dried, it'd still look the same, etc (or be sweeter.)

I probably won't make the herbed cheese balls until tomorrow so they're fresher etc. I chopped up the herbs tonight though. Going to mix some of them into the cream cheese before making them into the balls, and then roll them in the remainder of the chopped herbs. Should be yummy.


Now, for the photos (I'm just going to link the sentence for most of these)
Reviving the cherries (I used dried sour cherries)

This is my hack job of mincing the cherries up instead of mixing them in as HUGE whole cherries
Ewwwww LIVER!!! + "I swear I didn't kill anyone and I'm not butchering a body!!"

And the final project...
It looks more appetizing in this photo than in real life lol. In real life it looks a bit more like peanut butter with raisins mixed in. Looks icky, tastes pretty good.

Tomorrow I shall post some pics from the tea party, and perhaps a lesson on which fabrics REALLY need to be washed BY THEMSELVES before going anywhere near others.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

This About Sums It Up...

You may have to click on it to see the whole thing, I know on my computer I usually only see part of images and not all of them on here. It might just be my monitor, I'm not sure *shrugs*

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Bloggers Beware

Today I was reading the news and came across this. A model had a lawsuit against a blogger, then dropped it, and now the blogger wants to sue Google for revealing her name. Woooo. Everyone look out! Here's the article

Trash-talking bloggers warned of perils
Wed, August 26, 2009
A court battle to ID a name caller is cited as a wake-ublogp call



MONTREAL -- Anonymous bloggers who like to trash talk online should brush up on the latest cyber etiquette, say legal experts.

The recent case of a Canadian model who won a court battle to reveal the identity of a nasty name-calling blogger should be a wake-up call about the legal implications of sharing derogatory opinions online, said lawyer David Fewer of the Canadian Internet Policy and Public Interest Clinic.

"It should be an eye opener for most people," Fewer said yesterday. "They are not nearly as anonymous on the Internet as they think they are."

Liskula Cohen, a former model for Vogue and Flare magazines, won a court order in New York that forced Google to unmask the identity of a blogger, who had called her a "skank" and made other off-colour comments about her online.

Cohen has since dropped a multimillion lawsuit against the blogger, saying it wouldn't add anything to her life. Meanwhile, the blogger, Rosemary Port, is suing Google for violating her privacy by revealing her name.

Fewer said Canadian courts, as well as courts in many other jurisdictions, will likely give people the opportunity to launch similar court battles to reveal the secret identity of an online persona or the person behind an online publication.

"If you've got a non-frivolous legal claim you are entitled to your day in court," said Fewer, acting director of the clinic, based at the University of Ottawa.

Cohen's lawyer, Steve Wagner, said the case has struck a chord with people and he expects to see more of them end up in court. "It goes well beyond just trash talking.

http://lfpress.ca/newsstand/News/CanadaWorld/2009/08/26/10613866-sun.html

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So... on one hand I guess we have stuff like harassment, defamation of character... and on the other a violation of privacy, and free speech and all that jazz.

Now, I don't really trash talk people on my blog. I don't like the majority of celebrities. It could just be I'm not a fan of whatever movie they've been in or whatever, but I normally can't be bothered enough to go through the effort of really trash talking. And thinking now, I don't even think I can trash talk most of them. Aside from calling some of them idiots, most of the stuff I would say would be that I don't like them, their movies/singing sucks, etc. A lot of stuff about them though is media hype (for the most part) which also makes me not get overly excited. I have sooo many better things to do. And so do most of my blogging friends. But well, just in case, I posted this.

I'm also highly amused to see the celebrity fight back. I'm also semi interested to see if the blogger wins against Google... though I have my doubts.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

2 For 1 Posting 'Cause I Missed A Day

I know, I'm bad. Broke my goal, but oh well. Today I shall post two things. First one I'll talk a little about the 100 Mile Challenge and then I'll post a couple recipes (probably not with much to do with the 100 Mile Challenge ahaha)

Anyways, I was browsing the TV one day and came across a show called The 100 Mile Challenge. Curious, I watched it. Now, I caught the last episode, but they're very good about recapping the whole thing. The challenge is only foods grown, produced and sold within 100 miles of your home (this includes coffee, tea, pop, juice, wine/alcohol, possibly even spices etc.) Now, from what I grasped of the show, the hosts pick a town, go there, pitch the challenge and then families can sign up for 50 days, 80 days, or 100 days (although personal challenges by at home viewers can be anywhere from a week to a year etc.) The show then follows the families as they change their eating habits, shares what recipes they create as they go along etc etc.

The families are encouraged to roadtrip etc to find farms, farmers markets etc to find food, as well as to grow and make their own. Now, I know the website will be useless for most of you outside of Canada to use the food finder, but really, get a map, get a compass, use the scale on the map to get 100 miles (approx. 160km) and then put one end on your town, then draw a circle. That's your radius. Look at the town names in that radius, get on Google Maps and type in "farm" and "Farmer's Market." Now the 100 Mile Challenge site also lists retailers, stores etc that sell local produce, but those aren't hard to find. Especially if you ask around about stuff. Also, I don't know about the rest of you, but in my area, that's everything within about a 1.5 to 2 hour drive. I can get almost to Toronto going one way, and into the United States going another with this distance. Luckily for me, I live in a rural area and there's a small farm with a shop just down the road, as well as many others within a 30 minute drive.

The families I saw had good results. It takes a bit of time to get adjusted to the eating habits etc, but in the end a lot of them were enjoying the new eating habits, finding new recipes, growing and making the foods, going on the shopping trips, finding what they could substitute for things not produced in the area (ex. using honey instead of sugar) etc. Most of all I think they were enjoying finding that they were saving money, and also losing weight. I'm personally very tempted to talk to my parents and see if they want to do the challenge. Of course in this part of Canada, our growing season is May-October depending on the weather, so it gets a bit harder to find certain things once the growing season is done. I noticed too that once the challenge was over a lot of people's habits that they picked up again weren't HUGE changes back to their complete old ways, it was more like adding in things like coffee, orange juice, wine/alcohol not made in the area, and pop. Out of the 3 groups I recall that did it, only ONE really had a problem with the changes.

Anyways, even if you're not in Canada, check out the website - they share recipes, meal plans etc, and you can watch episodes of the show online. You can also sign up and share your own stuff if you take the challenge etc.

And now, Part 2 of the post - I shall share a couple recipes with you. One is BBQ and the other is baked in the oven. Now, they may seem like they take forever, but I kid you not they come from a book of quick/easy meals. The longest time involved with these is marinating, and/or cooking. Which is technically free time to do other things as well. So here we go! Notes in ( ) are from me about what we found when doing them.

Tangy Chicken Potato Bake
Feeds 4

1/2 Cup Italian Dressing (we used Zesty Italian, it's yummy)
1/4 Cup Honey Dijon Mustard
2 Tbsp Fresh Copped Basil (or 1 1/2 tsp dried)
4 Boneless Skinless chicken breasts
4 Medium Unpeeled Potatoes cut into small cubes
Sprinkle of Salt
Sprinkle of Pepper

Combine first three ingredients in small bowl. Reserve half the dressing mixture in small cup.

Put chicken into large resealable freezer bag. Add remaining dressing mixture, seal bag. Turn chicken in bag until coated. Let sit in refridgerator for 2 hours. Drain (Letting it marinate is important! Mom skipped this step and the chicken didn't have much flavour in it. We also didn't drain the excess away, we just left it in the pan to flavour the potatoes.)

Put potatoes into a bowl and add reserved dressing, salt and pepper. Toss until coated. Arrange chicken in the middle of a 9x13 greased pan and arrange the potatoes around the chicken. Cover with foil and cook at 375*F for about 45 minutes, until chicken is no longer pink inside and potatoes are tender.
(This recipe is tangy, but definitely not a HOT tangy, but it might have been different if we'd let it marinate longer, but I can't see it being much hotter. It's also a one dish dinner for the most part.)

And recipe #2....
Grilled Pork and Mango Salad
Serves 4

1lb Pork Tenderloin, trimmed of fat
1 tsp Chili Powder
1/4 Cup Hickory BBQ Sauce
8 cups Romaine lettuce, cut or torn
14oz Can of sliced mango in syrup, drained and chop (or use fresh. We bought the Europe's Best frozen stuff, but you can also use fresh mango)
1 cup thinly sliced red pepper

Sweet and Spicy Dressing
1/2 Cup Italian (or ranch) dressing
2 tbsp Lime (or orange) juice
2tbsp Liquid honey
1/2 tsp Chili Powder

Sprinkle all sides of tenderloin with chili powder. Preheat gas BBQ to medium. Place tenderloin on 1 side of greased grill. Turn off the burner under the tenderloin, leaving the opposite burner on medium. Close lid, cook for 25 minutes, turning occassionally. (It takes longer than this, so keep an eye on it and keep cooking until it's done. I think we find it takes about an hour, or so. Nowhere near what the cookbook says.)

Brush tenderloin with BBQ sauce. Cook for another 4 to 5 minutes until meat thermometer inserted into thickest part of tenderloin reads 155*F. Remove to cutting board, cover with foil. Let stand for 10 minutes then cut into 12 slices.

Layer next three ingredients on plates and put pork on top.

For the dressing, combine all ingredients in a small bowl and drizzle over top. Makes about 3/4 of a cup of dressing. (We make the pork tenderloin without the specific salad all the time. Or have a different salad on the side. Mainly because we always forget the peppers and mango hahaha. It's still very yummy. It's also not a HOT spicey.)

Friday, August 21, 2009

Tornadoes Are Serious Business. I Don't Care How "Baby" They Are

I was going to post earlier today, but most of my day was spent checking the Weather Network for satellite and radar maps, and watching out the windows for signs of nasty weather that would involve me needing to take cover in the basement. I was going to post about the 100 Mile Challenge, but that can wait until the next post. I shall post, obviously about the weather. I wasn't going to, but well, it's on my mind right now, so I shall. Ontario is on the northern tip of Tornado Alley. A lot of people will disagree because, well, obviously, Canada, as the Great White North is not far enough south to be in Tornado Alley! Either that or obviously since we have snow all year round! *sarcasm* that we can't possibly have them. On the contrary, what a lot of people neglect to notice is that Ontario dips down into the state of Michigan, which makes some Canadian cities farther south than some U.S. cities. Of course after reading Wikipedia I find Tornado Alley laughable since pretty much everywhere can have tornadoes, it's just a case of how rare they are, and apparently how severe they are. So first off, we'll look at what a tornado is. Via this Wikipedia link for the most part. The Glossary of Meteorology defines a tornado as "a violently rotating column of air, in contact with the ground, either pendant from cumuliform cloud or underneath a cumuliform cloud, and often (but not always) visible as a funnel cloud..." So, there you go. It's a funnel of air. They cause destruction, and death. Death is the main reason I am making this post. Hmmm am I sensing a theme in this blog? Wow, maybe I discovered another of my issues! That was actually discovered long ago...! Moving on! Ontario has been experiencing more tornadoes in the past few years. I can't recall anything beyond warnings before a couple years ago. I had one, and only one tornado drill in elementary school, and even that was near the end of that, so probably 7 or 8 years ago? And even then it was like "Yeah, when you hear this siren, crawl under the benches in the hall, hold on, and cover your heads." Anyways, last year I think we had a couple tornadoes, both within 15, 20 minutes of my house. Upon showing these to a friend who grew up in Ohio, there was scoffing and "They're just babies! F1s or F2s at best, try looking at an F5." I will admit behind his back there was a lot of "Fuck you, man, fuck you!" directed at him from me. I don't like tornadoes. I don't like them a lot. I also don't like having my fears scoffed at. Mainly because if I'm going to be afraid, there's a DAMN good reason. We never really had confirmed tornadoes - sure there was ALMOST enough damage, but never quite enough. Until recently. I think it started coming more with digital cameras and people being able to record them. Sure we only get little ones, but they still kill people.

Today's weather spanned across a large portion of the province (and we're a rather large one) and spawned about 4 tornadoes I believe. One person was killed. Oh hell, I'll say it now. That person was a child. Now, at my house, they were predicting all kinds of nasty shit, but we got a one minute downpour, then nothing, then downpour that tapered off into rain showers. A bit of thunder, the whole thing only lasted maybe 45 minutes at most, and nothing horribly nasty. The rest of the day was a bright grey day that melted into sunshine by the late afternoon. This season Ontario has had about 6 or 7 tornadoes I believe, 2 of which have been deadly. The first fatal one, ironically, claimed 3 lives, all men from the U.S., and all from a state that is more prone to nasty tornadoes. I admit, I did laugh at that one... but it was a sad, ironic laugh. I wondered though, if we would be getting weather like this t
oday, as there was a similar number of twisters in states just across the lake, and the damage there was something to see on the news... Seriously, a fence - probably about 6 or 7 feet high, made of 10" wide planks - was knocked over, followed by a transport truck's trailer that was being used for storage was also blown over. The on scene news reporter then picked up a piece of the debris that had been flying through the air earlier. It was a broken plank from the fence - about 3-4 feet in length and it was snapped so cleanly to a point at one end it looked like someone had cut it into a shape resembling my best impression of it on the keyboard... /| A state trooper also reported being on the Interstate and seeing two people on motorcycles get sucked off their bikes (no funnel cloud visible that I remember hearing him talk about) and getting thrown off the road.

So yeah... I don't like tornadoes. Hopefully this is it for the year *bangs on wood* And I shall stop quoting the storm speech from Shakespeare's King Lear, even though I*DID* amend it to say no tornadoes... I do wonder how much of this is also being caused by the hurricane moving along the coast. And yes, that DOES affect us over here in the "inland" portion. The U.S. isn't big enough to stop it lol. Remember everyone, Canada is bigger than the U.S. and we're on top. If this was prison the U.S. would be our bitch. And moving on... the weat
her forecast for the next while looks nice... a few thunderstorms on Saturday, but oh well... less than 50% chance of precipitation, so I think we're good. One thing I'd also like to clear up is the humidity and pressure changes. My bum ankle is swollen painfully :-( I'd say it almost feels worse than when it's actually sprained or twisted. Except I can actually walk on this... where as the others... not so much. Hahahaha. Anyways, tomorrow's post will either be on the 100 Mile Challenge, or some knitting! YAY! Knitting! That's what I've been doing recently when it's not horribly hot and muggy. But that's another post hehe. And now I shall leave you with a photo taken by one of my friends' family (I'm not sure which member of Diane's family took it) of one of the tornadoes in our area last summer. This one damaged some land and did minimal damage to some barns, but no one was injured.

UPDATE: It took a day, but here is a link to where you can see videos and some pictures of the tornadoes from yesterday. They were confirmed as F2 category tornadoes. The one in the photo above is probably an F0 or F1 at most. The name of the 11 year old boy killed has not been released due to the family's request, but I hope he rests in peace and that the family makes it through this tough time.