Occult Q&A of FAQ, Part I

Okay, so this is going to be an occult post. Despite my whole "Yeah I don't really talk about the occult" entry last time. Why? Because it amuses me, that's why. So I guess I'll answer the questions/comments I get most often. And if anyone has any, leave me a comment and I'll do another post, or whatever, and answer them.

So, the FAQs... Q = Question, C = Comment to me, A = My response

Q. So, what are you?
A. Human... what are you?

Q. So as a Wiccan...
A. I'm NOT a Wiccan...

Q. So as a Pagan...
A. I'm NOT a Pagan...

Q. So as a devil worshiper...
A. ....I *AM* The Devil... which is odd in most senses given that I'm female, but I don't expect most people to understand what I mean anyways.

C. OMG THAT'S BAD! You can't hurt anyone! Magic is all puppies and kitties and rainbows and butterflies and...
A. *takes shotgun off the wall above the mantle, and loads it* There's no hope for 'em now. 'e's sufferin'. You know we gotta do it.

Okay, but seriously now, you gotta have both sides of the equation here. The light and the dark. Sometimes the right thing is not a nice thing. Also, as a non-Wiccan/non-Neo-Wiccan/non-Neo-Pagan, take your bloody rule of three and shove it up your ass. For every action there is a reaction, for every action a consequence - and by consequence I don't mean whatever you do comes back to 3 times 3 times 3 (which by the way would be TWENETY SEVEN times better/worse than what you did, not three times) I mean that if you know if you do something not so pleasant to someone, and you're going to feel guilty and whimp out following it through, don't do it. If you know you won't be able to live with what you are going to do, don't do it. Because really, it wastes your time, and the energy, and it'll probably backfire. So I mean if you do something nasty to someone, expect results. Liiike say someone does something not so nice to you, so you hex them, and short time later, there's a car accident and their injured badly and paralyzed. There's your action, there's your reaction/consequence. It doesn't always mean the reaction/consequence will happen to YOU.

Q. Can I watch?!
A. ....What...? YOU PERV! Oooooh you mean can you watch a ritual... Um, no. Just no. I'm not running a Plagan Playtime, and we're not participating in a sport (you want that, christianity is over there, down that hallway, to the left, and third door on the right...) And even if I did let you watch, it's not like you'd understand what you were seeing anyways.

Q. Can you teach me?
A. Nope. I'm still paddling around in the pond myself, there's no way I can teach you.

Q. So if you're not Wiccan of any sort, or Pagan, what are you? Witch is rather generic.
A. Shall we just say... Your worst nightmare.... and leave it at that? Or if you don't like that, I can introduce you to my friend over there who can run you around in circles faster than you blink...

Q. ZOMFG WILL YOU DO A TAROT READING FOR ME?!?!
A. Hmmm lemme check *flips out some cards* All signs point to... No. Sedrick doesn't like you. He thinks you're an idiot. See? He said so himself *points to cards*

Q. Who is Sedrick and why do you talk to him like he's a person? You don't know anyone named Sedrick.
A. Keep your voice down, Sedrick might hear you! And of course I talk to Sedrick like he's a person. Gods know he's opinionated enough. Sedrick is my tarot deck - Crowley's Thoth to be exact. He's quite an ass and a cheeky bastard. Some days I want to rename him Trystn, but he [Sedrick] doesn't like that idea. And anyone who says a tarot deck is an inanimate object has obviously never worked with a deck that has a personality - as in it retaliates when it gets annoyed. And it insults you *shoots a dirty look at Sedrick* (He's in time out right now...)

Q. Which gods do you worship?
A. Erm... none. Not the way most Plagans do anyways. Groveling... not my style. Now some of us do however have "patron" and "matron" gods/spirits, and well, I could tell you, but that'd be telling. And they'd probably eat you for breakfast. Or maybe more like midnight snacks...

C. Tell me EVERYTHING!
A. Now why would I want to do THAT? That takes all the fun out of tormenting you.

Q. I'm Goddess-loved. What are you?
A. Ready to shoot in 3-2-1....

C. But I don't like *insert aspect of conversation/ritual/occult related thing here*...
A. ...So why are you talking to me about this, or trying to work with this...? You knew, it was going to come up/be involved...

C. I was Cleopatra in a past life!
A. Darling, we were ALL Cleopatra in a past life... (Okay, so I stole that one lol)

C. And in my past lives I've always been some form of animal and....
A. Uhhuh.... uhhuh... Zzzzzzzz... Awha?! Sorry, I dozed of--Zzzzzzzz

C. Who's your favourite author(s)? I *LOVE LOVE LOVE* Silver Ravenwolf and Fiona Horne and....
A. *Backs away slowly and reaches for the shotgun* .....
C. ...What? They're the most popular and readily available, therefore they have to be the bestest!!
A. No, no that's not how it works...

C. But as Witches/"witches" that means we can't believe in Jesus, and must go against everything that is at all related to Christianity!
A. Actually... some of Jesus' stuff wasn't too bad. Unfortunately no one else seemed to understand and it was all twisted and contorted into lovely control devices. As for the rest of it, I have no time for those who must sqwack about how "different" they are from everything else and how they're oh so original and new and different and have nothing the same. All that proves is...well...nothing. And really, depending on what you look at, oh hey, the bible proves me right and xtians wrong on things... Hmm, how interesting.

Anyways, that's all I can think of now off the top of my head... which is a lot apparently lol. It's not bed time.

Toddlers & Tiaras - Ramblings

Today I watched a TV series called "Toddlers & Tiaras" on TLC. It was kind of like watching a train wreck. Horrifying, but at the same time, fascinating. The show is about children (mostly ages 12 and under) that compete in children's beauty pageants. I would love to say we don't have these things in Canada, but I'm fairly certain we probably do (the show is based in the U.S..)

Most of the kids seemed to be enjoying themselves, some, not so much, and others, well... not at all. For me, it's just strange - and slightly uncomprehensible - to see kids wearing more make up than most badly/overly made up women I know; being spray tanned (or in one case having it rolled on with something akin to a paint roller); wearing fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake hair, and then parading around in elaborate, garish outfits that cost more than a lot of things I wish I owned - as my one friend said when she heard what one mother commented about outfits costing "That's a lot of rent..." (We're talking this mother has invested between 65-70 THOUSAND dollars in going to pageants. Oh, and her daughter was about 5 years old.) I can understand the make up and the hairspray - my neices go through those for skating. I've done the "You've got so much hairspray/product in your hair, stay away from open flames" myself for a couple formal events (remember, the trick is that if your hair still feels like hair, you don't have enough hairspray.)

The younger kids really didn't seem to understand what was going on, they just did it, and probably had fun (though there were a lot of sad faces when they didn't get prizes.) The older kids did get it, and some were INSANE about it. The one 10 year old even had (what appeared to be a rather bitchy) alter ego named Tootie. I kid you not - they called the child by her real name, and she snapped back "I'm not *name*!! I'M TOOTIE!!!" And her bad mood lasted until she stepped on stage, and then came back as soon as she was off stage. A few of these kids seem to have "I'm better than you" attitudes. Already. Like little Miss Tootie. She constantly had this look like someone around her was smelly - the disgust, the sneer, all of it. She also didn't seem to give a damn about anything. What she won was not good enough.

A lot of the mothers were also pageant contestants when they were younger. They were more excited than the kids when they won *grimace* Seriously, your child is standing on stage with this "I have no idea what's going on, but I'll stand here and smile" look on their face, and you're standing in the audience squealing, jumping up and down for joy, waving your arms, hollering, yelling, and hugging your friends/family... meanwhile your child's expression has now become "My mother is acting insane, and I'm not sure why, or what I should be doing, but okay..."

One family had all 5 of their daughters competing. I WILL SAY THIS NOW - I'm not going to say this woman is a bad mother, or anything like that. I do not know these people, I am aware this whole thing has been edited by other people than her (or at least I would assume it has been), and all that. What I am about to say is my own observations and opinions formed by what I saw.

Anyways, continuing, this family has 5 daughters competing, two of whom are twins. Now in the beginning, it seems as though the mother is showing favouritism (and it does kind of seem that way, but at the same time, she could be just being very truthful/realistic, as one twin won more pageants than the other twin.) I will call the twin that wins more Twin #1 and the other twin Twin #2. I will say how things originally came across, and then my later thoughts on them. So, first off, Twin #2 doesn't really seem to enjoy pageants. Twin #2 also looks emotionally injured when talking about pageants. She knows her sister wins more than she does etc. She said so herself, and when speaking about pageants, looked unhappy, looked down from everyone else, or away from everyone else. Originally I was rather shocked at how the mother came across when the dress Twin #2 chose had a rip in it. It appeared a ruffle had come off a layer of the skirt, and would actually be a fairly easy fix. The mother however goes "It's RIPPED. You ripped it at the last pageant!! Do you remember how you ripped it?! You lose points for things like this!!" The child started to cry, asking if it could be fixed, or if they could get a new one. The mother replied she'd fix it if she had time, and that while there was a new dress coming, it would probably only fit Twin #1. Now this originally came off as rather cold - however, thinking on it more, 5 girls to get ready for the pageant would be a lot of work, and if the twins differed in size from when the dress was ordered, it would make sense that it would only really fit one of them. Other than this, for the most part, the mother seemed to be a very good parent. The father eventually had to make the desicion to remove Twin #1 from the pageant because of her horrible behaviour, and the mother respected this and did not fight him on it at all. The thing that stunned me most was Twin #1's behaviour at/after the pageant. Twin #1 ended up being removed before the final portion before crowning - due to her behaviour (we're talking kicking, screaming, crying, ignoring parental directions, insulting her sisters etc.) Twin #2 ended up being crowned 3rd Alternate, and Director's Choice. Twin #1 - while not participating in the talent portion, and being removed - was awarded 2nd Alternate. Both twins were then being interviewed by the camera crew, and when Twin #2 was asked what she won, Twin #1 butted in with "YOU didn't win. I did! I got 2nd Alternate!Twin #2 replied with "How would you know?! You weren't there! You were asleep!" Twin #1 continued with "I won. Ask mommy!" Twin #2 then simply sat there, staring down and away from everyone, looking at the floor, no expression on her face. Twin #1 then put her arm around her sister in a comforting/patronizing gesture, only to be shoved off by Twin #2. WAY TO GO #2!! One child has an ego issue, and the other has emotional damage issues. I hope Twin #1 smartens the fuck up, and Twin #2 grows up to be strong, and not hating and distrusting people.

Before and After photos can be seen here, (Tootie is #4) along with other stuff on the site (like lists of what they take to pageants, etc etc.) Some of them still look like children when they're all made up. Others look like Barbie dolls.

Oh, and the cost of the one girl's dresses from above? Least expensive was either $1200 or $2100. Most expensive was $3600. I think I need to be making poufy, frou frou pageant dresses that look like glitter vomit.

Now then, not sure why I'm rambling on this much... probably because this whole thing kind of disturbs me (in about the same sense as purity balls...)